It's what you did thats hurting you.

when i first got on the laptop, my main intention was to blog. but i found that i couldn't put my feelings into words. i am offically emotionally choked. for the record, i've never been as blank as i am now whenever i'm about to blog. for starters, i'm in pain. humongous pain. Love brings the greatest pain than anything in the entire world.

i'm a fragile person. if you try to say things with the intention of hurt me, you will always succeed at it. but these few days, although i'm being dumped again, i did not react as strongly as i thought i would. for 4 days i did not shed a single tear for him. i've been numb to all the hurtful things he say.

all the FUCK OFFS, all the swearing at me... has just made me really numb. i look at sofiah and glandyn and realised how cute and loving they were together. jasmine and melvin are no different. we used to be like that... i think about they days when it was a lovely one with movie and sakae sushi.

the lovely and innocent times started to disappear from the time he start lying to me.. went clubbing behind my back... and even picked up smoking for awhile... all at once was too much for me to handle. i dont adapt well to negative changes as i always think the best of them. little would i know it turned around and smack me in the head. like which girl would like their boyfriend to go clubbing without them? but he will never understand this.

So here i am, hugging Puppy the humongous stuffed doggie he gave me for valentines day. knowing that this is the last of him i'll ever get. we have no reason to get back together anymore. he doesnt need me, i'm just preoccupying his time. i dont have his respect either, whatever i say always goes down the drain.

though i love and miss him so much, i know it'll never ever be the same again. i've lost the old daniel.all thats left are the memories he left behind.